I set the following into ~/.config/mpv/mpv.conf:
input-ipc-server=/tmp/mpvsocket
This is equivalent to starting mpv with the --input-ipc-server=/tmp/mpvsocket cmd argument, but the server script doesn't indentify as such, and start a new instance.
If this is solved, i think it's possible to set up the server as a script to start along with mpv in a very transparent way.